Monday, January 14, 2008

Tony Romo foreshadows the Blonde Icebergs ahead

As we've already discussed repeatedly, the Dallas Cowboys are out of the playoffs. Dallas Morning News superstar (and friend of TYSports) Tim MacMahon says not to blame Jessica. Others are not so quick to let Ms. Simpson off the hook.

We here at TYSports can clear up the whole issue. Even though we make the occasional joke at his expense, we were the original Dallas Cowboys Romosexuals.

Back when Tony Romo was playing 3rd fiddle to Vinny Testaverde and Drew Henson... Back when Tony Romo was getting crowded and elbowed out of his own locker so that people could interview other Cowboys... Back when Tony Romo was still just a young kid fresh out of Eastern Illinois University... The Dick Joke Armey was there.

Back near the end of the 2004 season, Romo was asked for his thoughts on the year in pop culture. And thanks to the epic efforts of DJA member TexasGiant, we can prove conclusively that the Cowboys struggles have nothing at all to do with Tony Romo being distracted by Jessica Simpson.



So there you have it. It can't be Jessica Simpson's fault... Because Tony Romo has been distracted by thoughts of leggy blonde celebrities since he was a clipboard-toting inactive 3rd stringer. If anyone thinks Romo's libido made him lose focus this season... How did he ever accomplish anything in the meantime?

Godspeed, Tony Romo. You're just a Brett Favre retirement away from being my sentimental choice to win a Super Bowl. And unlike some other celebrity-humping Pro Bowl quarterbacks we could mention, so far you seem to understand the concept of birth control. Thumbs up on not being a deadbeat dad.

When Jessica Simpson gets played out and you throw her in the bin with Carrie Underwood, we here at TYSports hope that your next 5'8" blonde is better received by the Dallas Cowboys faithful.

Don't hold your breath, though. Dallas Cowboys fans are a bunch of schizophrenic drama queens who should all be on lithium.

6 comments:

alex p keaton said...

Does Romo really understand birth control, or is there a problem with his swimmers?

TY said...

Maybe his swimmers work during the first half of a woman's cycle and put up record numbers and then they die off right as she is about to start ovulating?

alex p keaton said...

Maybe his offensive line has so screwed up his timing that he burns off his excess fuel before toucing down on the tarmac.

Innuendo is fun.

Oh well, at least Jessica has Joe to make her feel like a real woman.

Ioannis said...

Hey, Jessica should just be glad she's not stuck having sex with Quincy Carter, Anthony Wright, Drew Henson, Chad Hutchinson, Vinny Testaverde, or Drew Bledsoe.

alex p keaton said...
This post has been removed by the author.
alex p keaton said...

And Romo can claim to have more playoff victories than which of those QBs?