Istvan S. N. Berkeley, Ph.D.
Why hello, I did not see you there. I was busy reading this riveting book on cognitive science. It’s my favorite topic, you know. Oh, you are interested in the football match this weekend, are you not? I do enjoy the sport – people often write it off as barbaric but I see a lot of thinking in strategy. It is really a chess match, except the pieces are bigger and take a greater pleasure in the exertion of physical force. That is what is beautiful to me – the balance of force, preparation and the mind – but I digress.
I bet you want to know my prediction. It is very hard for me to predict things. I can tell you what I think is the most likely statistical outcome, but I do not pretend to know the future. On one hand, you could take the teleological approach which suggests that all things happen for the greater good. This would theoretically suggest that North Texas will not prevail due to the underlying moral disdain of the team and the community that supports it. If you were to take a more natural, mechanistic approach, I think you would still be able to empirically observe that the Mean Green simply does not possess the biological fitness to adequately compete and thrive in such a stressful environment.
Regardless, I think that predicting outcomes is a pretentious and arrogant practice, which is why I have thrown aside distractions like religion in pursuit of the stimulants of the mind. Yes, I believe man’s potential can only be reached by activating the 90% of our brains we often ignore or just cast aside. I know this would imply I do not like football, but the sport is just so captivating.
OK, fine as long as you realize that I am giving you probabilities and not concrete outcomes, I’ll give you my thoughts on the match.
/Clears thoat
/Transforms
Howbadyghubbedeeyeehaw bitches!!!!! We gonna geaux all swamp thang on dat ass! Ol’ Corn Cobb gonna lose his record I guaran-damn-tee! It’s gonna be a crawdaddy boil and your defense is gonna be da meat! Cajuns 93; Mean Green 4!!! I bet da gator I caught this morning! Hugahdeebeuareaux buddghhedicup, Geaux Cajuns!
6 comments:
I'd hit that! (Either one)
TY,
The Jekyll/Hyde thing with the good professor is really amazing. All he had to do was clear his throat to transform? Geaux Ricola!
Please... Please... Please invite Dr. Berkeley to share some HSO's on GMG. There's been a gaping void since the Tulsa game.
Truly we are in the presence of greatness... Socrates, Antisthenes, Chrysippos, Epicurus, and (holding breath) Dr. Berkeley.
Truly one the 5 greatest minds of all time.
Hey. I remember that So-crates dude from Bill & Ted. Who are those other guys ? Epididymis ? What did he write ?
Nick,
Epididymis was very prolific. He always had "lead in his pencil". His father's name was Scrotus. His uncle was Heraclitis....and that's no Aesop's fable.
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