When Tina speaks, her loyal subjects must obey.We shall return.
But before we return, we have to leave.
20 months ago, TY was visited by the spirit of the divine Ms. Tina. She commanded him to go forth; to create a poorly conceived, typo-riddled dick joke weblog that would glorify her name.
And lo, he did. TY Sports was born, and the sloppy afterbirth was all of you; the Dick Joke Armey. For nearly two years, we have been bringing shame on ourselves and disgrace to our families, all so that the DJA might laugh or think or cry or learn that Waco is unfit for human habitation.
Truly, these have been some of the sexiest, funnest times that a barely readable website and its tiny fan base have ever known.
But TY and I have been entrusted with a new responsibility. While we were out on our weekly tandem bicycle ride to Deep Ellum, we were stopped in our path and thrown to the ground by a sudden flash of brilliant light. It was Tina come to us both in a vision, commanding us to cease our persecution of soccer fans and to follow a new path.
Our mission now is to travel to Bolivia and rally a peasant force of guerrilla bloggers, "El Ejército de Bromas del Pene". We must take these pathetic soccer-loving bastards and train them, arm them, and guide them to overthrow their corrupt, oppressive dictators. Once we've incited the revolution and turned Latin America into a dick joke paradise, we'll come back and resume our work here.
We're not sure exactly how long it will take to turn a continent into Tina's utopia, but don't count on us being back before the middle of January. Worst case, we'll be in Hot Springs to cover the Sun Belt Basketball Tournament in March.
TY will write his own farewell, but know that we love you. And that Tina loves you. You have not seen the last of our internet jackassery. This is a hiatus, not a termination. We both love doing this, and we'll get back to it as soon as possible.
So until our brown skinned brothers are free from tyranny, we're off to serve Tina's will.
Viva la revolucion, and we'll see you sometime in 2009.
5 comments:
Well that's a fine How-do-you-do at Christmas Time. Happy Birthday Jesus! I hope you like tears and heartbreak!! What are we supposed to do without you?
Ioannis,
I'm sure I speak for many TY Sports fans and NT93eagle when I wish you a safe trip to Bolivia, as well as your safe return. I have a visual image of you and TY wading ashore like two young MacArthurs leading the DJA. Make sure you wade ashore in Frisco or Farmers Branch, not the Philippines. Your quick return will help many of us avoid the dreaded "hiatus hernia".
If Tina Turner served as your muse, rather than Tina Yothers, things might be different. Not necessarily better, but different. RV wouldn't be the major source of sexytime.
I look forward to you bringing further "disgrace" to the family. Do it soon. A day without TY Sports is like a day without sunshine...or is that a day without orange juice?
I wish you the best, but if we don't get at least sporadic updates in December I'm officially leaving you for aztecskin's blog.
I will still be around somewhat, but won't have time to to write much. I can half-ass the hell out of a Twitter feed though.
I feel awful that it's come this, and if you have ever read Firejoemorgan.com, you can get a preview of my plans for aztecskin's wonderful blog.
Please no Twitter. I don't understand it one bit. Things I don't understand scare me so bad that I wanna cry. People look at me like a sissy when I cry. I am not a sissy. When you tell people you are not a sissy with tears in your eyes you get laughed at.
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