But this morning I was driving in to work and was listening to Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket discuss the latest over-blown, grating Cowboys controversy where the little bitch quarterback who turns the ball over all the time playing for the overrated offensive genius who can't figure out how to use freaking Roy Williams when even Mike Martz could (not my words, but a Cowboy-hating friend) was called out by his receivers.
Hey, I've been called out by my receivers before, but that is why they make ball gags.
Any who, some local white-trash yokel calls in with this gem (paraphrased three hours later):
"You know, a lot of people here like TO when he is catching passes and doing well, but now he's not even doing that. Some people might have forgotten about when he desecrated the Star as a 49er, but not me. I've never forgiven him!"Are you kidding me? If I hear one more bullshit rant about TO "desecrating" the star I am going to stab someone in the neck with a pair of scissors, then run an orgy/drug ring out of a Valley Ranch neighborhood home, then arrange a whore caravan to join me on my next trip to Phoenix, then make arrangements to bang stewardesses during charter flights and then do some blow off of hookers in a hotel room. Oh wait, I'm not 90% of the 1990s Cowboys roster. If that statement pisses you off, then read this book immediately.
I guess i'm just a bad fan who needs to get in line, so here goes:
THIS IS A FOOTBALL TOWN!!!!! ROMO IS A FORCE WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE PLAYS!! WE HAVE TOO MANY WEAPONS TO BE SLOWED!!!! WE'RE DOING WHAT THE GIANTS DID LAST YEAR AND PEAKING ON DEFENSE LATE!!! WE CONTROL OUR OWN DESTINY!!!! YEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Kill me. Go Falcons.
6 comments:
As a true Cowboys fan I'll also never forgive TO for what he done to the sacred star.
The Playmaker stabbed that lazy ass Everett McIver in the throat for the good of the team, so you can get off his nuts about that one.
You keep apologizing to damn Terrible Owens and I'm gonna end up going George Teague on your ass.
Not sure what happened to my name in the earlier post. In the heat of the moment I may have gotten sloppy.
Read this: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/09/ksk-book-klub-boys-will-be-boys-featuring-more-of-charles-haley%E2%80%99s-penis.html
Then read the book.
The star is as sacred and pure as my nutsack after a two day hike through the Phillipines.
Read the book months ago. Not what your point is. Yea... the 90's Cowboys were all d-bags OFF the field. I assume all athletes are. TO is a d-bag on the field, of the field, and on national TV.
The 90's Cowboys may have been chock full of asshats, but they kept it in-house. TO enjoys spreading his douchery far and wide.
The point of this post is not that TO is or is not a douche. The point is that Cowboys fans have a large percentage of self-delusional idiots that truly believe the team is set apart by God and the best thing to ever happen to sports.
These idiots down play the accomplishments of the Stars, Mavs, and Rangers (who have all won playoff games more recently than the 'Boys) and try to pass this town off as a FOOTBALL/WINNERS/home town.
Even if you don't care about pro sports, this same mentality is why TCU, SMU and UNT get no support locally. Unless they are in the top 10 playing a BCS team, most of these front-running yokels won't support them.
Which PART of the Philipines, though?
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